...I would like to beg you dear Sir, as well as I can, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer. |
Rainer Maria Rilke
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So begins a new era of my life. The era of.... I couldn't load any new photos on my old blog and I have gone in circles with google storage, to no avail, and therefore must create an entirely new blog, which feels rather like a new season of sorts.
This Rilke poem is exactly how I feel right now in my life. I don't remember when I began having so many questions, but they have been piling up around my feet and legs, these dirty laundry questions, for a long time now. The days when I am searching for the answers are the days when I am unable to move and I wallow in the foul stench of my resistance to unanswered questions. It is only when I can pick these garments up and clothe myself in the beauty of confusion, that I can move forward.
Your pictures and words are always breathtaking so I'm glad you found away around pesky Google.
ReplyDeleteHere you are. I'm so glad to find you again. I remember feeling so confused, sad, and wretched back in the day when I was trying to make big decisions (college, marriage, mission, love) and feeling joyful and elated at the same time simply because I was capable of experiencing it. I love being alive and want to live a long time- even though things get more complicated as they go. I like your sentiments and the Rilke quote.
ReplyDeleteWow. You are cool. I wonder if it is the season. Seems like those sentiments are floating around in my head as well. I keep thinking of the desert and how it can make me feel just right. No, elated.
ReplyDeleteDang, you write well.
I can’t tell you how much your blog has meant to me over the years. My wife and I live a life that is very different from yours: we are in a large city (Denver), have no kids and we’re over a decade older than you and your husband. Your lovely writing and excellent photographs have been a glimpse into another type of life. I’m glad you are able to continue after hitting the oddly arbitrary data limit from your first blog. I look forward to reading your blog for many years to come.
ReplyDeleteBruce