St. Patrick’s Day is weird. I think I started hating it when the girls were small and we lived in St. Louis, which boasts one of the largest St. Patricks Day Parades in the nation. Think this is a lovely family event? You can bet on the blarney stone that it is one of the worst family events ever. Admittedly, the parade is fantastic and the amount of candy thrown is unforgettable. Unfortunately, it was like taking our kids to a birthday party in a bar. Everyone was drunk and loud, thinking it was hilarious that they were throwing their beer cans in the streets and peeing behind vehicles.
Last year in Spokane, we made room on the parade route for a passed out man to be loaded in an ambulance at 10:00 am! The horses painted green seemed depressed. No more St. Patricks Day parades for me.
What other holiday do people joyously pretend to be another ethnic heritage by flamboyantly “celebrating” that heritage’s negative stereotypes? If you think about it, it’s a very odd thing to do. I mean, we could at least emulate their more flattering stereotypes, like being awesomely clever, awe-droppingly strong, and great at river dancing or knitting or something.
Even so, I am determined to conquer my winter blues. Maybe they would be more tolerable if they were green. Having the winter greens sounds kind of nice. When I couldn't find my green food coloring (a leprechaun had hidden it behind the thyme and I found it the next day), I got creative and mixed watercolor paint in the toilets with a paintbrush. We had corned beef and cabbage.
I'm still more excited about Buzzard day.
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